Hump Day, one million and nine…

seems that this week is flying by too… **sigh**

it is the hormonal week here at our house ~ everything and everyone seems to follow the same moon cycle.

Even the ones on birth control. :P

No word on jobs yet, and I’ve applied for five in the past seven days. I do not have the gas money to run to the city today, in fact, I am out of money period. There isn’t any more to do anything with at all.

Time once again to apply for public assistance, eh? At least now I won’t feel guilty about it, as the girls are living with me again, ya know?

The second kid (t2k) is off to “work” for the day. I do not know how long it will last, as she is well on her way to borking the whole rafting gig.

For as long as I have known her, she has had control issues. The dad in our family turned out to be an ass, and through no fault of t2k’s own, he disappeared at a crucial place in her life. I tried, honestly, but I could not fill the void ~ and he was not allowed to try to see her to explain that it was not her fault and all that… (not that he would have bothered to try) But it left her with a need to control EVERYTHING.

So… the first week that she worked with the rafting company, she was fine.

The second week, the water was higher, and she was in a boat that dumped twice in one trip. Both times, she came up under the boat the first time ~ not an unusual occurrence.

She came home, was fine… or so I thought.

From there, things went downhill for her. She has become terrified of going down the river ~ not of water per se, but just rafting the river. She is soooo bad that she passed out from the fear last week, and had an ambulance ride to the ER to be sure she was okay.

She was a bit dehydrated, and hungry, but other than that? It was all in her mind, and she knows it.

**sigh**

now, I have NO idea what to do. I appreciate that she keeps trying, but there are times when one can not handle things on ones own…

At any rate, the owner may not let her back on the river, and I (for one) hope that he does not. She has to learn to control her fears within herself… and it ain’t gonna be easy, nor short, nor… anything. She can not ignore this control freak thing any longer.

**sigh** so…two screwed up now, neither beyond redemption, but out of my hands. Kind of frustrating.

All I can say to them now is good luck, and God speed.

Come on viggo, lets go make breakfast.

:*

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