I am having a non~motivational weekend. Two four day weekends in a row, and I am B.O.R.E.D with them. Terribly so actually…
This agrees with Wikipedia, so hey… has to be correct, right?
I am suffering from Nuclear fog. Not only is the fog hanging in the valley here, but the fog in my head will not go away. I feel out of sorts, and grumpy all the time, and (sadly) it makes me even grumpier when I admit myself why I am grumpy.
Escalation of silly proportions, eh?
No idea why I do this to myself, and worse…those around me. Bad thing to have taught my children too.
**sigh** Guess I never finished the “parenting” class when I had the chance.
Today, t3k comes by here to pick up a folder that she needed to have BEFORE Christmas break.
Life with her is weird. Very weird. And… I am not quite sure what to make of it ~
We were living in Mansfield, T1k and her hubby were buying and 80 acre scrub ranch up there, t3 and I were going to be living in the small house…
Sadly, they lost it, which meant t3k and I had to move too.
Now, I do not like the schools here in my hometown, nor do I care for the schools down valley. I want t3k to stay where she is.
Herein lies the problem.
I can not find work up there, at all. There is NOTHING for me to do in that VERY tightly knit farming community of less than 300 souls. I am an outsider, they do not care for outsiders…
Though, I do better than some, for they have embraced t3… The school is strange like that, the children do wonderfully, but unless you grew up amongst the dry land farmers community, you really do not exist…
So, at any rate…
There is no work for me, I can go on welfare… but that is not enough to EVEN pay the one credit card that I have off. Even if I could get into the low income housing, I still need to worry about the horses, dogs, cats and various other types of creatures that are my responsibility.
I am not QUITE sure what to do at this very moment. T3 has a place to stay, but I do not. I feel pushed out, as though the government of that town/school (whatever) are trying to take my child away from me…sadly, I do not know if I feel this way because THEY (the powers that be) are doing the pushing, or if I feel this way because t3k is doing the pushing.
It really is a weird feeling, one that I am uncertain is even right, and with that dilema, I do not know what to do about it.
“It” being (mostly) the feeling ~ I also do not know what to do about keeping her there, and/or moving her here, or me moving there, or… whichever, whatever, whoever is even on first…
Weirdness abounds…. weirdness abounds.