King of the Mountain

I have a few animals in my care and keeping ~ currently there are only nine and the number varies with the needs of my girls.

The fully domesticated ones live here at the house with me, sharing my bedroom/office/workspace with me… yes, yes, this is crowded, but it all works out in the “end”…

Kinda.

This morning, it began with the routine that I have been forced into ~ when my alarm clock goes off, this is the signal that Little Cats’ day has begun…

Cats… as much as I love them…some days it just … yeah….

**sigh**

Alarm clock goes off as usual, and I feel a little *sniff* on my cheek… persistent enough that I actually acknowledge the touch…

DUMB thing to do.

**PURRRRRR***

I can’t tell which cat it is, they both purr about the same… so I’m feeling about, trying to figure out who is bothering me…

I connect with a furry body….

**PURRRRRR**

Aw CRAP. Wrong cat. Now they are BOTH awake, and both wanting my attention…

PURR FIGHT!!!!!

**purr** goes Small Cat…

**pUrr** goes Old Cat…

**PUrr** goes Small Cat…

**PURR** goes Old Cat…

On and on and on we purr, rubbing on any part of my person that we can, leaving hair all over the place…

**SNEEZE** says I…

Small Cat, obviously concerned for her mom, sits down in the middle of moms’ chest, cocking her head one and the other as if to say gesundheit…

**PURR????** says Small Cat…

**I scratch Small Cat behind the ears…**

**whack whack WHACK!**

** WHOOSH!!!**

Small Cat goes flying out of sight, into oblivion off the side of the bed ~ and before I can figure it out…

**PLOP**

**MOOOOFFFF!!!!!**

Out of breath from the sudden impact, I can not inhale easily, for Old Cat has landed right in the middle of my chest ~ taking the place of the mysteriously vanished Small Cat.

Old Cat, purring like a poorly tuned engine is oblivious to my pain ~ she begins to settle down into the cavity created by her landing, curling her paws under her chest…

She never makes it to her repose, for…

**BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!**

A quick succession of stealth hits on her furry backside sends her off the same side of the bed Small Cat disappeared off of moments earlier…

(So now I have drainage holes in the cavity created by Old Cat…)

Small Cat appears, taking Old Cats place… the victor in the battle begins to settle in…

**BAM BAM BAM!!**

Stealth hits across Small Cats backside sends her off the side of the bed where Old Cat had disappeared …

Old Cat, the clear victor, settles back into the place that used to be my rib cage…

**PURRERERErrr**

**BAM!**(blink)

Small Cat appears…

**BAM!!**(blink)

Old Cat appears…

I finally got tired of the game and turned over, switching the fan up higher to cover the noise the cats are making…

As I settle in to go back to sleep, the cats (being the way they are) quickly figure out how to continue the game…

They played King of the Mountain off my rear end instead.

~:-)

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