So… who wins?

**FOUR in the morning…**

Dog:

“MUM I MUST GO OUT”

Mum:

“NO, you just went”

Dog:

“YES, GO, NOW, OUT!”

Mum:

“FINE”

**off they go to the yard…**

Dog:

**wander, wander, wander… sniff, sniff, sniff… wander…”

Mum:

“Hurry up, I am fuh-reeeeeeezing here”

Dog:

**wander, sniff, wander, sniff**

Mum:

“FINE. I am closing the door and getting the coffee ready to flip on when we get up for reals! Finish up, and be ready when I come back.”

Dog:

**ignore human, for she is …**

**door slam**

Dog:

“OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG LET me IN!!!!”

**bounces off the outside of the door**

“OMG It is TERRIFYING out here with OUT YOU!!!”

Mum:

“sigh”

**opens door**

Dog:

**FULL tilt through the door, wagging every part of her body that will wag, ears back total submission**

“OMG I thought you DIED! I was all ALONE in the YARD and… It was TERRIFYING”

(this lasted an entire 2 seconds…)

Dog:

“Wait, I haven’t pooped yet! (**audible fart**) You MUST let me OUT so I can!”

Mum:

“NO”

Dog:

“YES!”

Mum:

“NO DAMMIT!!”

Dog:

“FINE!!”

**poops on rug**

Mum:

“sigh”

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