Somewhere, there is a village missing their idiot…

This morning started out just fine, after a day of serious pain yesterday. I find it odd that I really have no idea how bad I hurt until the pain goes away ~ and sometimes, it is weeks before it lets up…

I tell you what…Fibroshititus sucks.

My day got better with a visit with friends (they came seeking baking material) ~ they met and loved on my critters…

After my friends left, I was going about the house with my mini entourage, I decide on breakfast ~ I wants me some scrambled eggs.

Scrambled eggs means Ketchup. (Catsup)

I scramble my eggs…

**scramble scramble scrudge gooey stuff about in frying pan** (scrudging noise =cat attractant)


As is *normal ~ I talk to the cat. I tell the cat what I am doing, as she is FASCINATED by the process and giving me the look that says,

“REALLY???” and “OMG that is like, SOOOOOO COOL!!!” (read: OMG why are you TALKING???”)

I finish cooking and the eggs are perfect, except for one last thing…


I open the bottle, upend it over my eggs…


Cat says, “MERF??” (read: “is it just me, or are you stupid?”)

I say, “yeah, must be a new bottle.”

Cat says, “MERFUH” (read:“I’m right, you are an IDIOT.”)

I open the top and sure enough, it is a new bottle.

I struggle with the inside safety dohickey (finally winning) and put the cap back on the bottle…

By this time, I have a full audience of cats and dogs. (Five total) Food is involved, so this is totally normal.

I comment to the crowd…

“okay, breakfast is almost ready ~ I’ll share when I am done.”


says the crowd.

I flip open the top of the ketchup, give the bottle a good “HOOMPH” to get the contents up to the little squirt top thingy…

And the stupid little squirt top thingy flies away on some weird ass trajectory, and the ketchup goes F**KING EVERYWHERE.

It covered the eggs, the counter, the cabinet doors…

No one moves. Not me, the dogs (scrounge hounds) ~ and the cat says;

“MERF” (read: “I mean… SERIOUSLY. Somewhere, there is a village missing their idiot.”)


An entire pot of coffee is a good breakfast, right?


go out and make it a good day ~ though I HIGHLY recommend you stay away from Ketchup bottles … they are demon possessed today.

*I am FULLY aware as to why my animals are weird, and it is totally MY fault. but ~ do not tell me why, allow me to keep my delusions intact, okay?

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