Sainthood is so easily achieved…

I would just like to unequivocally state that I really, REALLY dislike it when I get up late and the dogs HAVE to go out before I have had the chance to get my coffee routine out of the way.

No routine, no awake.

No routine, no awake, slim to none for I.Q points ~ I truly am flatlined. Nothing there.




I am stuck in the state between awake and sleeping, the zombie state that goes around dripping parts and getting shot to bits only to walk again in the netherworld of coffeelessness. (heh… I made that word up.)

What goes beyond my ken is that people (more often than not) attempt to converse with me when I am in this state. NEVER has it yet failed that someone will try to talk to me ~ I am barely standing upright, my hair in the oh so classy style of last seasons abandoned bird nest, yesterdays t-shirt replete with stains and stink of days gone by, not to mention the zombish morning breath, and dried drool that I didn’t get wiped off because I stubbed my foot on an overly anxious dog that is trying like hell to NOT PEE in THE HOUSE because GOD KNOWS its’ owner has slept IN and the dog now thinks it would be the better part of valor to just PEE in THE BED because the damn zombie is grunting about not being dead…



so, I am standing outside waiting for the dogs to finish. the woman next door (no teeth) comes up as I decide to stretch ~ both arms to the sky, pleading with God to take me NOW because I can smell my own armpits ~

she mumbles.

I mumble back.

she rolls herself one of her funny cigarettes, mumbling the whole time.

I can hear the word “Coffee” (universal word that!) in her mumbles…

she disappears.

dogs finish.

she reappears.

with a cup of coffee ~

for me.

‘Twas a vile brew, but I DRANK IT ANYWAYS, and was grateful to rejoin the ranks of the non zombies with very little work on my part…

Sainthood is so easily achieved these days, eh?

Go out and be excellent to someone today, and do try not to judge them on their appearance~

Because they probably slept in and their dog peed in their bed.



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