I am sitting here, wishing it were June ~ in June I house sit for a friend in a different city for two weeks ~ and it will either make, or break my stay here in Spokane…
I have not been this unhappy with where I am in a very long time… like about 20 years ago was the last time I felt this awful about where I am, and what I am doing.
The feeling of powerlessness is nearly overwhelming.
Perhaps this is the reason for what is happening? Though, I’ve long understood how it feels to feel like there is no choice in life you can make that will come out worth a shit, I wonder what I missed the first time to have to do this again?
Am I really that stupid?
Don’t answer that. **sigh**
Maybe I really do just need to give it all up. Maybe I carry to much with me.
Maybe it is time to call the life I thought I wanted quits, and see what else is out there.
maybe maybe maybe
I hate maybeesssss ~ mostly because I still have to choose shit, and I am tired of choosing badly.
heh… feel like the Indiana Jones character ~ choose wisely, or die. O.o