There might not be anyone to mourn you

It is Friday ~ Been an okay week really. I feel better today ~ perhaps physically I have turned the corner?

Nah. Just balanced things a lot better in the past two days than I have since I had a tooth pulled a week ago.

Weird how small things like that (the tooth) can now throw my body completely out of sync now ~ Use-tuh-never even slow me down when little things like busted teeth happened…

now? week a minimum, and that only if I can sit and do nothing the entire week.

O.o

Sucks being old and sick.

In my case, just… **sigh** And herein/therein is my problem.

I am not old.

I am NOT sick. but I AM just…sick.

Sick is only if you let it be that way, but sick is also any illness you carry about on a constant basis.

I think.

Hell, I don’t know.

It is hard to fathom being “sick” when one seldom feels actually “sick” ~ Even worse is how much harder it is to try explain to people that only see you what you are now as normal, they can not know you as you once were. AND even worse… they that can only see the poopy side of you, the side that hurts, that is slow, that walks with a stick, that hates it because the collective “they” think you should be different than you are.

…this is alllll really, really, REALLY crazy making.

Seriously. There is no happy balance.

At least I haven’t found one. Still trying to just find balance.

No matter what I do or say, people are going to judge, people are going to accept, people are not going to deal, people are…

Going to be people.

we all have that strike against us, some are just worst than others. right?

Right.

So, from here I say ~ what?!?

love me as I am. don’t love me at all.

your loss if you don’t, and I won’t lose any sleep over you.

Can’t miss what I don’t know.

Right?

**snort** hows THAT for coming to terms with (yet another) “rejection”??

heh…So, in the name of all you hold dear, do go out and be excellent to one another today.

cuz if you don’t, when the bus hits you, there might not be anyone to mourn you.

and that is bad. :)

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2 Responses to There might not be anyone to mourn you

  1. Clint says:

    I’m sorry you feel bad Suzie… :(

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